Tuesday, October 31, 2006

THIS IS DEFINITELY MY DAY!


昨天晚上基本没怎么睡着,简直就是从小到大最兴奋又最难熬的一个晚上。今天早上爬起来四肢无力,混混沌沌的冲到金钟的英国总领事馆,很戏剧性的把白花花的表格全都洒到地板上,在负责收签证表格的工作人员的眼皮底下一张一张捡起来。递上表格,心里正战战兢兢七上八下担心被质问,被告知到一旁呆着一会儿有officer见我。于是第一次见识了签证面试。因为之前完全没有“防备”,因为讨论的话题都是让我心情无比轻松愉悦的比如计划去伦敦哪里玩啊,这是我从小到大发挥的最好的一次面试。末了,那个系着花领结,身材矮胖的英国签证官还夸奖我英文说得好,被这么一夸我开始轻飘飘起来。飘到最后一个窗口递上750大洋,一切手续办完之后,我小心翼翼的问,是不是很大可能可以签出来,由于心情紧张,说话结巴,问半天说不清楚,那位负责收钱的阿姨没等我问完就说,不用担心,我的签证already been issued。听到这句话,我的心情啊!简直就想在总领事馆大堂里面当场大叫大嚷起来!

老妈一直说我是个幸运的人,我还总觉得自己没有在中学里做过什么什么,没有在18岁前做过什么什么,没有在20岁前做过什么什么,生活充满遗憾。但现在,我不得不承认,我实在很是幸运。之前并没有打算跟老爸老妈说去英国的事情,但是办好了签证,还是忍不住第一个就打电话给他们,想让他们惊讶的下巴都掉下来。为了给这完美的一天锦上添花,查邮件的时候,发现收到了德勤的面试邀请函。
一切都还只是个开始,更精彩的需要慢慢创造。所不同的是,我现在开始相信,奇迹的确存在!

Monday, October 30, 2006

SOGNO DI UNA NOTTE DI MEZZA ESTATE


跟着PA混日子就是开心。在票子卖空后的两个星期,PA居然成功买到两张最贵的芭蕾舞《仲夏夜之梦》票子,并且还是学生
对折价。对照了一下北京的票价,除了2280的VIP之后就是1680的,而我们的票价折完之后只是北京的十分之一,“抵”死了。

第一次这么近距离观赏,
可以听见脚尖落在木质地板上的声音可以清楚的看到每一个动作,甚至是一不小心的失误。观后感是,以往坐在“山顶”位置,看了和没看一样啊!在我眼里这是一场异常精彩的演出,故事情节服装布景音乐舞蹈结合的非常完美,演员们动作轻灵柔软,加上飘逸的裙装,仿佛真的是仙国来的精灵。见多识广的PA同学则眼光挑剔的多,暗示演出只能算是刚刚挤入“还不错”的水平,有人跳得不够高,有人转得不够稳云云。

不过我们的共识则是对于香港社会的“殖民地遗风”和“阶级观念”的认识。坐在前排,明显感觉到周围全部都是外国人,拖家带口,或是一对对情侣,女生穿着漂亮讲究的裙子,男人西装笔挺,或是穿上下不同色的casual wear。又说到在香港的大公司的高层主管们,十有八九,甚至有时候清一色的,全都是外国人。号称“国际金融中心”,最“中心”的命脉名副其实的掌握在“国际人士”手中。是本土人才不够出色,还是受到传统观念和势力的束缚或限制,与PA的讨论仍未结束。

昨天意外收到KPMG的邮件,说通过了测试,邀请我们参加一个公司派对。变相的面试!过了这之后,还有三轮面试等着我们。简直就是躺在砧板上的肉,还心甘情愿的要求别人快些动手宰割!不过通过测试这件事多少还是个不错的消息,至少安慰了我被德勤拒绝的受伤心灵和信心。并且,准备派对,一个很好的逛街买新衣服的借口,哈!

最后一点小想法。如果真的有《仲夏夜之梦》里面的魔法药水,世界会变得多么简单啊!但是世界会不会也变得非常无趣呢?


附:北京的《仲夏夜之梦》演出信息,很多漂亮的照片。没有找到香港的有关新闻报道。
http://ent.sina.com.cn/f/h/zhongxia/index.shtml


Saturday, October 28, 2006

FREE LUNCH????????????


Received an email from the uni a couple of days ago, telling us that there would be 50 free plane tickets provided by Oasis Airlines to us uni students as promotion. And received another email today, telling me that I was provided the free round trip tickets, HK - London - HK. OMG.

Suddenly all these plans are going through my head. And above all, is that, I may go to the GM concert! It was like every thing was destined to happen. God made me get up at that time on that day, turn on my laptop, check my email box, and reply that email. And the GM concert in Britain will be held just in the following months. What are the odds!
But I am just too worried to be happy. Apart from all these school works, interviews and tests, I need to apply for a visa before anything can happen. And that visa alone, would cost me HK$750, no matter successfully issued or not. And the GM concert ticket is like HK$1500. And in fact the air tickets are just around HK$2000 in total in this promotion season. I don't know whether I am doing the right thing. But I kinda don't wanna be sensible now. Just wanna do what I really really want, from my heart.
I've never thought about really going to a GM concert before. I thought it would never happen. But now it seems getting closer to me. It's not mission impossible. But it's not that easy to be possible. I'll get to prove, whether a miracle is given, or manufactured.
Oli, so so so glad that you can go with me, although we haven't worked out the schedule yet. I really wanna have a walk with you on the bank of River Cam, enjoying the view, taking pics for each other. Will we make this happen?? I really need to have some faith this time.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

NOT YET DESPERATE


Went to the EF dinner organized by my department. Listened and talked to some alumni, enjoyed some delicious cheese cake. ^_^ The dinner is quite good. I kinda feel not that nervous after that. Some graduates really got their points. Self-confidence does matter. And I've got to know my STRENGTH, as well as my weakness. Maybe I make a list of my strength later. ^_^ And moreover, knowing what I really want is very very important. Otherwise, no matter how hard I try, it won't work out. I'll be just "busy dying", not "busy living".

=============================================

Just heard a piece of unbelievable news, from a guy that I would least expect to hear such an announcement. We were talking about job hunting, what we wanna do after graduation, what kind of life we wanted, and suddenly he started to tell me that he's gonna get married very soon after graduation, and gonna have kids, have a family of his own, stuff like that. I was too surprised to give any response. Well, it seems that we do have very different expectations of our lives. Job, lover, family, and even kids. I just hope that everyone can get what they really want, and live "happily everafter".

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

BETWEEN DISAPPOINTING & EXCITING


Finally find a piece of expertise of mine. I am so good at messing things up. Everything. Gotta keep my mouth shut in the first place. Talk too much. A lesson to remember.
Every one else is receiving invitation to group interview from Deloitte, but me. But me! So far I haven't passed any first round interview of Big 4, or of any company. On my way straight to the unemployment.
Well, despite of all these stupid and disappointing things, I'm still eagerly spending my time on totally useless things, like watching tv series. Love Wentworth! He did get his name from Jane Austen's novel, Captain Wentworth! Bravo!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

THE WEATHERMAN


This shit life...

...we must chuck some things.
We must chuck them...
...in this shit life.
There's always looking after.

Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do... are usually the same thing?
Nothing that has meaning is easy. Easy doesn't enter into grown-up life.

l remember once... imagining what my life would be like, what l'd be like.
l pictured having all these qualities. Strong, positive qualities... that people could pick up on from across a room.
But as time passed... few ever became any qualities l actually had.
And all the possibilities l faced, and the sorts of people l could be... all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer... until finally they got reduced to one... to who l am.
And that's who l am...the weatherman.


FRIDAY BLACK FRIDAY


The busiest day ever in this semester. One 15-page report, one presentation, one application deadline, one aptitude test, one 20-MC homework. And basically, I messed up every thing.

The KPMG aptitude test proved one thing again, I am just not good at it, I'm not, or no more, or have never been, that smart. One of the Big 4 closes its door to me, and no good news from other Big 3. I start to realize that there are chances that I'm gonna graduate and be unemployed. UNEMPLOYED!
The test overran by twenty minutes, and by the time I rushed into the lecture theatre to do the group presentation that I was supposed to do, it had been already finished, by the other members in my group. The lecturer just wouldn't spend one single minute to wait for me. Though he said he wouldn't give me a zero on this, it ain't good feeling to miss a presentation in the class. Well, it was just not my day. And to make it perfect, stomach disorder called on me in the evening.

Friday, October 20, 2006

A LOT TO LEARN


It is said that for a senior in uni, he "knows that he knows". But why I am still in the level of "knowing I'm ignorant".


Made a list of the things that I most want to improve. The list got longer and longer and longer, finally it seemed out of control.

Wanna learn to hide my feelings.
Wanna learn to handle failures better.
Wanna know how to understand people's implications under the words.
No rush to conclusion.
Respect others from my heart.
Gotta stop acting like a child, just sitting there expecting everyone else to take care of me, to take care of the mess that I've made.

======================================

Have a little discovery just now, which, frankly speaking, boosts my confidence, a lot. No need to be easily scared or upset. I am not that bad. Just need to find the right way, find the new ways.


Improvements are still needed. But, I gotta have a little faith, in myself.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

WEDNESDAY, TENNIS DAY


Same time, same court, same tiring...


在开学以来最忙最多事的一个星期,熬夜看完了prison break。江山易改本性难移,十几年来没怎么用功,最后一年洗心革面不容易。越狱好看,没话讲,看得停不下来。男主角的魅力自然没法挡,T-bag演技虽好,角色始终不讨好,倒是觉得fernando很可爱,单纯得一塌糊涂。


Monday, October 16, 2006

FROM HIRE TO LIAR

http://www.ftchinese.com/sc/story_unreg.jsp?id=001007171&pos=MANAGEMENT&pa1=3&loc=HOMEPAGE

文章说的是,办公室里充斥着谎言。其实,我这种正削尖脑袋找一间合心意办公室的准毕业生,为了让招聘单位相信我就是合适的不二的人选,已经开始在简历、性格测试、面试的过程中或多或少的掩饰自己的真实个性,摆出一付勤勤恳恳,聪明开朗,同时富有团队精神和领导才能的嘴脸,被问到有什么缺点的时候还要说自己太过认真负责以至给队友带来压力转弯抹角横竖就是往自己脸上贴金。
文章说,由于管理理论没有把说谎考虑在内,所以无法有效揭示出实际上的商界的面目。顺带还把德勤拿来开了把小涮,挺爽!说句题外话,听完四大的四次recruitment talk,我最没有印象的就是德勤了。PwC本身够牛,KPMG的video很赞很新颖,E&Y放低身价大讲公司在短期内能够给毕业生们带来的实际利益,德勤么,真的没什么了。

NO!


Can't get that pair of eyes out of my mind, Oli! I can't. It was exactly the way she looked at me in the HJH interview that morning, like a living person with a dead mind. Her brain has been formulated by all the rules, standards, regulations and disciplines. She can never think out of the box, she can't never live out of the box.

Don't wanna live a life like her, don't wanna have a such a pair of eyes like her. Don't, ever in my life. No!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

MUST LOVE DOGS


john cusack的片子。觉得他奶油,但还是觉得他奶油的很impressive。哎,我自己也没什么想法了。永远也不会嫌多的茫茫爱情片里很不起眼的一部,情节主线无药可救,但很多细节和台词赞得不得了,片头描述刚离婚女人的心情很是到位,对着超市里卖熟食的男人发飚,小小夸张搞笑。虽然结尾肯定是铁打的大团圆,但是不喜欢两人最后相遇的那段,这么冷的天让女主角跳河,不至于吧。

女主角的老爸引用了一段诗,听他朗诵的漫不经心却又字斟句酌,很有味道。特别喜欢那句looped in the loops of her hair,觉得很浪漫。

William Butler Yeats - Brown Penny
  
  I whispered, 'I am too young,'
  And then, 'I am old enough';
  Wherefore I threw a penny
  To find out if I might love.
  'Go and love, go and love, young man,
  If the lady be young and fair.'
  Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
  I am looped in the loops of her hair.
  
  O love is the crooked thing,
  There is nobody wise enough
  To find out all that is in it,
  For he would be thinking of love
  Till the stars had run away
  And the shadows eaten the moon.
  Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
  One cannot begin it too soon.

KFC FOREVER


刚刚做完德勤的网上测试,阅读文章然后选正确错误或者not given,15分钟10段短文30道题。很久没有练习这种题目,水平退步了,而且时间很紧,到后来眼看着计时器不停的跳,心里开始慌张,更加看不进文章了。最后好歹做完,正确率是没什么希望了。

昨天早上面了学校的HJH,事后回想,忽然觉得自己的答案很是恶俗,一味的套公式,缺乏个性。oli说面试讲究的是当时一刹那间的反应,所以那些所谓的interview skills样板答案全都是无用功。希望经过经验积累我也可以达到这样的境界哎。

昨天晚上又翘课,六点钟跑去kfc,一直坐到十一点钟。三个女人们,话题绕着揾工,学习,八卦,梦想,不知不觉足足讲了五个小时,消耗掉不计其数的鸡翅膀。相约星期三一起“神秘购物”,相约找到工作之后一起烫很夸张的头发,相约以后每三个星期就要一起吃kfc。以前曾经策划过,返工的午休时间一起在中环吃午餐,这样的日子也一天一天的近了,不是那么遥不可及了。真的很期待,我们要吃遍每一家餐馆!!

Friday, October 13, 2006

SHIPPING? PROBABLY NOT...


没防备没准备,大喇喇的跑去做了第一次类似“企业智力测试”的问答题,比想象中难,只来得及做百分之八十。不行啊,没有优势的说。

听马士基的recruitment talk,招的是一个类似于management trainee的职位,还以为是一个算不上大热的mt职位,怎知人家雄赳赳气昂昂地说,我们去年收到2000份申请,发出160多份面试邀请,最后雇用了13个人,录取比例为0.6%。哎,最后不是我b4人家,总是人家b4我啊!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

THINKING


刚刚看东视夜新闻,某位ms资深记者兼评论员以斩钉截铁的口气说,法律能带给市民的安全感远远超过道德的力量。对于这句话思考中。。。

同样思考中的还有我的第一份全职工作的选择。不是人人羡慕的位子就是最适合我的位子,哪怕高薪高福利,入了不喜欢的行业做不喜欢的事情肯定不会开心。那么究竟什么才是我应该选择的呢???

EXHAUSTED!


累到无以复加无法形容的地步。无论站着坐着躺着趴着歪着斜着倚着靠着都没有办法减轻一丝一毫的疲劳。

不过是打了一个小时的网球。体力太差了。
德勤终于来了回音,要在四天内完成一个网上的测试。好吧,那就乖乖做吧。

XXXXX FISH


重看了剑鱼行动swordfish。当年在交大的某大教室,ms是东500,第一次看,觉得暴赞暴有新意,现在回味反倒觉得不过尔尔,有些情节太过做作,铺陈得太明显,立意方面也显得有些小儿科。当年喜欢这部电影的一个主要原因是里面的男二号长得酷似ferrero,而当年刚拿下法网大满贯不久的ferrero意气风发,风头正健。现在电影没了味道,ferrero在网坛几乎销声匿迹。物是人非物是人非啊。


btw刚发现这位ferrero假冒者居然是X-men里鼎鼎大名的金刚狼,我还真是眼拙哎。


Monday, October 09, 2006

HOW COULD THIS BE TRUE!!


http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1187392,00.html


Posted Sunday, Apr. 30, 2006
Only a few leaders are alchemists who take the worst of human behavior and turn it into the best. Mukhtaran Bibi, a Pakistani woman raised in poverty and illiteracy, has responded to the violence and gender apartheid directed at her and other women with an insistence on justice and education. Her tragedy began in 2002 when her brother was accused of walking with a girl from a higher tribal group. In a culture in which female bodies are battlegrounds for male honor, the village court ruled that he be punished with the rape of his sister. Bibi was assaulted by four men and paraded naked through the village.

There are perhaps thousands of such "honor crimes" in Pakistan each year. Survivors are more likely to kill themselves or be killed by their families than turn to a legal system that requires four male adult Muslim eyewitnesses to testify to rape—otherwise the victim can be convicted of fornication and adultery. But Bibi went to court. Her bravery attracted support from international media and women's groups, and her attackers were convicted. With the compensation money plus contributions from people who read about her struggle, she created a girls' school. Now 33, she has become a skilled organizer and trusted leader, and a magnet for other women escaping violence.

But Bibi is far from safe. Only global pressure forced Pakistan to give her a passport so she could meet women abroad, and she still receives death threats from those who view her as a danger to the nation's image and social order. Like Nelson Mandela, another alchemist who redeemed human nature by example, she depends on ordinary supporters to keep herself and her work alive.

Steinem is a writer, an activist and adviser to women's rights group Equality Now

MID AUTUMN


日子过得挺滋润。星期六系里面组织非本地学生跑到老远的地方吃自助餐,我作为唯一一个三年级生挤在一群比我小的孩子中间装年轻。今天是我们这一届的交大18人组聚会,可惜最后还是没到齐,不过我们这群人经过这两年的摸爬滚打,到现在还能聚在一起吃火锅抢肉抢金针菇抢蛋糕抢月饼,感觉很好。




Friday, October 06, 2006

INTERVIEW #1, PWC FIRST ROUND


就这样结束了。临到关头我好像没怎么紧张,不过发挥得也没怎么好。
问题的确不难,主要从application form入手
,问了我为什么放弃交大,问了些参加活动的经验。因为提到Student Leadership Conference就顺水问对leadership的看法,之后又顺水问对teamwork的看法。居然还问了关于明年我想参加exchange的事情,于是我也就顺着exposure一路讲下去,结果最后他说,他们这个部门可能满足不了我对exposure的需求,他们都不会涉及到listed company,然后我也只好立马调转方向,把自己讲得很低调很低调,什么都愿意尝试。
面试用了三种语言,基本上这位面试官的这三种语言我都听不太懂,英语嘛典型的香港口音,普通话实在不敢恭维,其实看了我是大陆人干嘛还跟我说普通话呢,我真生怕我说得太快他听不懂,至于广东话,不知怎的他的口音就是比其他人难懂,有些口齿不清,或者可能我还是有小小紧张,注意力一分散就听漏听不懂了。
至于我自己的表现,比第一次面寒假实习的表现进步不少,但回答问题逻辑上仍旧有些零乱,英文口语也不好,想不出词儿就胡乱搭配,要是别人跟我说这样的英文搞不好会遭到我的鄙视,现在自己也讲成这个样子,哎,还有待大大的提高。
据说结果会在三个星期之内通知。又要等啊等啊等啊等。。。。。。

Thursday, October 05, 2006

CON AIR!


刚看完空中监狱con air,赞得不得了!Nicolas Cage非常man,John Cusack则奶油的不行,让我怀疑导演是不是故意找了这么个男二号来衬托主角的英武,几个罪犯都刻画得很是生动,那个什么
缉毒部门的老大则略显弱智。情节很不错,结局也不错,有顺理成章的好人好报坏人怀报,也有出乎意料的浪子回头洗心革面。不过之前一直有些担心导演会不会狠心的让Nicolas死掉,不过想来这种标榜英雄主义的影片,怎么说都不能让英雄倒下阿。差不多十年之前的好莱坞片子,放在今天看一点都不逊色,可怜我们的本土大片,搞来搞去也只是古装的噱头草包的芯子。

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

MYSELF BROKEN


乐极生悲。在这么个时候病倒,时机实在是太好了。
迷迷糊糊睡了一天,梦到被子变成巨蟒捆住我,医生拿着针筒戳我的膝盖,面试的镜头片断,还有很多记不起来乱七八糟的场景。
下午第一次光临校医院,医生态度超好,简直就像在对待幼儿园小朋友一样和蔼可亲。配了一大堆药,拿回来跟elsa小朋友汇报,两人讨论下来发现,这医生其实只是根据我的描述开了点儿药,胃痛配胃药,发烧配退烧药,基本没怎么“诊治”,随便找第二个人也可以干这活儿。哎,算了,谁让校医院如此便宜,外面的医院又如此昂贵呢。
躺在床上的时候,突然冒出个念头,每个人都没有自杀的权力,因为生命并不是自己创造出来的,而只有创造者才有资格做毁灭者。果然,我病得不轻,脑袋迷糊不好使了。

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

SHENZHEN HOLIDAYS


听从诸位意见,改换firefox,速度明显比maxthon快嘛。

度假三天,乐不思蜀。去之前心里其实有些毛毛的,吃不准自己究竟想干什么,究竟会收获些什么。以前除了路过搭飞机,从来没有真正的去他们家做客。舅妈是北方人,电话里头就豪爽的说,来吧来吧,就当是自己的家。于是我就屁颠屁颠得跑过去了。
去了之后体会到,老是窝在自己的思想里有多不好。虽然身处南方,舅舅一家始终充满了浓郁的北方氛围,光是听三天有标准后鼻音的普通话,就是一种放松。星期天晚上在他们新房子顶楼的晒台上,第一次打了南方麻将,表哥垫底,俺荣膺第三名。深圳麻将跟上海麻将很是不同,上海
讲究“算计”,有所谓的“牌技”,深圳则基本靠运气,以至于大家对于座位安排,掷色子摸牌的顺序都很讲究,一点乱不得。打完麻将一边吃宵夜一边跟老哥两个一路从麻将讨论到人类生存的意义,老哥明显是受了游戏和漫画的深重影响,抛出来的论调怎么听都像是科幻小说里的情节,不过还挺合我的胃口,难不成我也应该走他的成才路线?
今天老哥又给我这个游戏盲上了一堂启蒙课,讲述他和仙剑奇侠传之间的感情,并顺
带表示了对于翻拍连续剧的强烈鄙视和不满。第一次听一个铁杆游戏迷如此深情的描述,心底里不由暗暗遗憾,好像被一个非常精彩的世界挡在了外面。
这么一趟度假,收获不少,思想从原来一直念叨担心的那个地方转移开去,身上多了好几打蚊子包,奇痒无比。
又,在舅舅家看了夜宴。不知是盗版碟还是电视机还是dvd机的关系,反正放出来的基本是黑白片儿,浪费了叶锦添的色彩。不过总的说来比预想的好看不少,超越无极无数个档次。只是对于结局非常不爽,干吗不老老实实讲出来,非得让人猜。还有一处不甚理解,葛优干吗要服毒自尽呢?老哥的解释是他什么都得到了,无欲无求没有目标所以也不想活了,我琢磨着他是不是真爱上了章子怡失望难过所以自尽,舅舅和舅妈倒在沙发上睡得很香甜。
又,三天里,舅舅家前前后后共有三条狗,本来皮吉和乐乐一向被公平对待,没啥偏爱
,这几天来了条出生两三个月的小狗,整天翘着圆圆的小屁股人前人后的跟着,于是分外得宠。不过也就是这小家伙,啃烂我摆在床上的ipod和耳机之后,还大摇大摆的在作案现场小解一番方才离去。哎,让我又爱又恨啊!


迷茫而又无辜的眼神

这小玩意儿没事儿就爱摆这个地毯一样的pose

喝水水

睡觉觉

其实我是一只羊

Monday, October 02, 2006

LIFE IS EASIER WHEN THERE'S NO CAMPARISON


"...现正修读经济及金融系三年级的张佳文,是从上海来港读书的内地尖子,在清华大学金融系修读一年后,透过港大清华的合作计划来港升学。虽然尚有约半年才毕业,但今年1月已获汇丰企业银行、投资行及资本市场聘请为财务分析员,7月开始赴伦敦、纽约及本港受训,年薪约75万元。..."

"...香港高校毕业生机会多,“状元级”的内地学生就更不必说。今年毕业于香港大学经济及金融系的张佳文,是来自上海的优等生。在毕业前半年,她已被跨国投资银行聘为财务分析员,年薪高达75万港币。..."